www.fark.com (bizarre news stories)

www.fart.com (Traffic guy Jan accidentally found this by misspelling fark.com!)

 

*Gentle thoughts for today.* Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL." If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs." Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging  is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. (It's worse when you forget to pull it down.) Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

 

Silly, juvenile, and probably immoral.... but it made me laugh outloud!

Www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com

From “The 86 Rules of Boozing”

Drink one girly drink in public and you will always be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks

After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the the mirror, it will shake your self confidence!

Learn how to make a rose out of a paper napkin, you'll be surprised how well it works!

For every drink, there is a 5% better chance you will get into a fight. There is also a 3% better chance

you will lose the fight.

If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours!

Hey all of you Super Busy Parents!

You know those types of people who collect useless information? They know weird pieces

of trivia, they can quote movie lines and know exactly what they were doing when ________(fill in the blank here). I'm jealous...I can't remember my name some days, much less the plot of a movie I saw last week. To help my self out, I write down things and even clip out tips and paste them in a book (this is a mid winter habit when there's no way I'm stepping foot outside).

I thought I'd share some of the things wise people have passed on

Here are some cool websites:

about.com

momswhothink.com

wiredberries.com (this is a myspace type of site for adults)

if you're looking for coupons..

www.retailmenot.com

if you're looking for love..

www.greatboyfriends.com

www.animalattraction.com

www.boomj.com

www.farmersonly.com

looking for friends...

www.meetup.com

www.lifeknot.com

www.soleparentmatch.com

BEAUTY AND HEALTH:

I just read an article in Men's Health magazine on 8 Flat Belly Summer Foods..

1.spinach

2. yogurt

3. tomatoes

4. carrots

5. blueberries

6. black beans

7. salmon

8. oats

Another more depressing article: 6 of the Most Fattening Ice Cream Flavors

1. Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter (360 calories, 24 grams of fat per half cup)

2. Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby (330 calories, 20 grams of fat per half cup)

3. Haagen Dazs Butter Pecan (310 calories, 23 grams of fat per half cup)

4. Sheer Bliss Pomegranate with chocolate chips (320 calories, 20 grams per half cup)

5. Ben and Jerry's Vermonty Python (300 calories, 19 grams of fat per half cup)

6. Coldstone Cooke Batter (300 calories, 16 grams of fat per half cup)

feel free to email me with your tips and suggestions:   carter@z1071.com

 

Hey all of you Super Busy Parents!

You know those types of people who collect useless information? They know weird pieces

of trivia, they can quote movie lines and know exactly what they were doing when ________(fill in the blank here). I'm jealous...I can't remember my name some days, much less the plot of a movie I saw last week. To help my self out, I write down things and even clip out tips and paste them in a book (this is a mid winter habit when there's no way I'm stepping foot outside).

I thought I'd share some of the things wise people have passed on

Here are some cool websites:

about.com

momswhothink.com

wiredberries.com (this is a myspace type of site for adults)

if you're looking for coupons..

www.retailmenot.com

if you're looking for love..

www.greatboyfriends.com

www.animalattraction.com

www.boomj.com

www.farmersonly.com

looking for friends...

www.meetup.com

www.lifeknot.com

www.soleparentmatch.com

BEAUTY AND HEALTH:

I just read an article in Men's Health magazine on 8 Flat Belly Summer Foods..

1.spinach

2. yogurt

3. tomatoes

4. carrots

5. blueberries

6. black beans

7. salmon

8. oats

Another more depressing article: 6 of the Most Fattening Ice Cream Flavors

1. Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter (360 calories, 24 grams of fat per half cup)

2. Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby (330 calories, 20 grams of fat per half cup)

3. Haagen Dazs Butter Pecan (310 calories, 23 grams of fat per half cup)

4. Sheer Bliss Pomegranate with chocolate chips (320 calories, 20 grams per half cup)

5. Ben and Jerry's Vermonty Python (300 calories, 19 grams of fat per half cup)

6. Coldstone Cooke Batter (300 calories, 16 grams of fat per half cup)

feel free to email me with your tips and suggestions:   carter@z1071.com